Doormat

I was beginning to be fine without you, great, even. I was finally starting to have fun, to let go a little. I thought I was starting to let go of you, and then my phone lights up, and I lose it. You're apologizing, asking me how I am, and how dare you?
So, no big deal. You can walk into my life unannounced and screw with me all over again. I'll let you, we both know it. We both know you'll come back, walk all over me, and leave me hanging once more. I hate that every single thing I felt with you comes flooding back too, like you never even left, like you never shut that door in my face.
Back then I thought we could be it. I thought we could be the ones, but I know you're just a user. You'll give me everything I want except the thing I need the most, and that's your love.
I don't understand myself. I don't understand how I can just let you do this to me, how I can let myself be your doormat.

I feel like this lyric from Mayfly by Belle and Sebastian really describes my life right now, and it's incredibly sad.
"I don't mind you coming near, keep me company until she comes again."
And I don't mean to be a downer, but I hardly think this is fair. Life isn't fair, and I could be much worse off, but I almost loved you, and you just used me. Now, here you are again, and why?

They all tell me to stay away. They tell me to have nothing to do with you. They tell me you're bad. I know all of this, and I know it so well, but I can't stay away and we both know that. You'll come back into my head, and you'll leave your mark as you did last time, and for what?