Jr.

I remember the day you came into this horrible world.
It was a beautiful sunny day as it would be.
I was angry that day...angry that he dared bring another child here.
How could he? How could he subject another innocent baby to that much pain?
How could he live with himself?
I promised myself that day...I swore I would despise him forever.
I swore I would never love you.
I swore I would never even come to know you.
They sent your pictures to me.
I didn't want to look, afraid of what I might see.
Afraid you might resemble me as I resemble him, and I'd have to love you.
When I finally opened the envelope, it was clear I was done pretending.
You latched on to my heart like a steal claw right then and there.
Your beautiful round little face. Your chubby little arms and legs.
And those eyes of yours, those ice-blue eyes, just like his...
You were so tiny, so wonderful, so peaceful, how could I not love you?
They moved back, and I had to see you.
My baby brother.
When your hair lightened, I was disappointed, but when it started to curl up at ever end, I couldn't have possibly been happier.
Your soul was so perfect as was your disposition.
Imagine...a baby boy that almost never cried.
You knew who I was right away.
I could tell by the way you clung to me and cried when I left.
You felt safe with your big sister.
Maybe safer than you've ever felt.
Only a year old, and you'd been through more than a child should.
Our father would put nothing before himself, and your mother didn't know any better.
I wanted to steal you, wanted to give you a better life.

Dearest Child,
You deserve more than this town can offer you,
And I live in fear, every day, that you'll be taken away,
That you'll grow up never knowing or remembering me.
I live in fear that you won't get the wonderful life every baby needs.