Friday, October 07, 2011
Exhausted
I am tired of waiting around for you. I'm tired of waiting around for hours just to find out you're not coming anyway. I've been waiting around for eighteen precious years of my short life for you. I've been waiting for you to decide to grow up, for you to decide you want to be a father. Truth be told, deep down, I knew it would never happen; I knew you'd never show. Truth be told, I knew, but I still got my hopes up high. This is what brings me down, this is what kills me in my life. THIS, this is what my life has been full of. Disappointment and feeling like I'm a disappointing daughter. I will not do this anymore. I will stick around PURELY for the sake of my little brother that NEEDS a better life than you can provide. That's it. I refuse to grow any closer to you. You're my biological father. That's it. You will have no other tie to me anymore.
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Angie, I also don't have a close relationship with my Father, at all really. I somewhat feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteHe came into my life when I was 10..although we have never been close at all. I think if I weren't for my little brothers we probably wouldn't even talk.
It's always odd for me because I never know how to ask towards him. :/
I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to!
"/ I know that feeling. When I'm around him now, I just don't even know what to do or say.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks, a lot of people really don't understand where I come from with this, so that really means a lot to me(:
I feel as though my Dad is more of some kind of uncle rather then more father most of the time.
ReplyDeleteWell I most definitely understand!
Same here, in fact, his brother is more like a dad to me and sometimes I wish he was my dad.
ReplyDelete